The Pain of Growth

Growth is often the path to true fulfillment but it does come at a cost. That cost is paid for in time and focus. A price well spent and definitely worth it but a price none the less. Gone are the days where I get to just sit around and watch TV or play video games. Don’t get me wrong I can still fit these in if I really wanted to but can’t do so the way that I used to. I use to watch TV in multiple episode chunks, now I am lucky to get a full episode in. I miss those days at times where I was able to just sit and enter a new world for awhile and get absorbed into the story that was unfolding before me.

I choose this new life. This life where when I do get time that opens up for me I often choose to work towards my goals rather then enter the TV realm. I know what the TV realm provides and while I do derive some joy from it I know that it will not provide me fulfillment. I need to spend my time building when I can. This is already hard with two young kids, a full time job and other responsibilities. But I cannot stop.

I cannot stop because to stop would mean that I won’t be able to teach my kids an important lesson. How can I tell them that they can accomplish their dreams if I cannot accomplish mine. I am the parent and need to lead by example. It is my duty to show them that through hard work and dedication that you can make your dreams happen even while raising a family. I refuse to be defeated by a merely a lack of free time.

This choice is painful. I still want to watch the latest fantasy thing that has come out and sometimes I still do. But not like I used to. Even if I magically had a day open up to myself I would not be able to spend more than a couple hours watching or playing unless I got some serious work done before hand. I feel the need to earn the TV/video game time. Not because I don’t deserve it now but because future me deserves to see what it is like to accomplish goals and present me has got to do his part.

I will always love TV and video games. I grew up with them and they have helped form the very man that I have become today. But unless they were able to fill other needs in addition they will remain a back burner activity for the foreseeable future. Remember that we only have this life and it is key for us to see progress in our lives, make sure you invest in that progress in yourself everyday. No matter how small.

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