The day was here. It was actually here. The day of my vasectomy had finally arrived. Something that had felt in the far far future even when it was only days away. Not because I didn’t want to do it but because I was afraid of it and what it meant I would have to endure. Even knowing the facts of the procedure still did not excite me to go through it. But I knew that I would. It was my turn to undergo a procedure for the family.
The lead up to the procedure was by far the worst aspect. It is silly how much we like to make ourselves suffer even before we have experienced any real pain. Even recognizing this still does not make it easy to turn off. But I was dedicated, I was going to do this. It was the best thing for us and what we wanted for our family so it was time to step up.
As soon as I sat on that chair a wave of acceptance washed over me and I knew that I was just going to experience whatever it was I was about to experience. It began with me asking my questions about when all systems would be back online. Then lead to me pulling my shorts down past my butt and receiving a nice misting of anti bacterial spray.
The doc then began applying the numbing agent which was described like a rubber band hit to the balls, I found it to be an apt description assuming it was a thicker rubber band. He then warned me that the left testicle usually hurts more, I don’t remember why he said it does but I do remember that he was right. After he was done he began prepping my scrotum for the nitty gritty of the procedure and he asked if I could feel anything and I said ‘a little bit’ which resulted in a follow up dose of the numbing agent. The image that comes to mind is a little boxing mouse uppercutting me in the testicles or perhaps even a rat!
I braved one glimpse downward during my procedure and got to see the little noodle that normally resides within my scrotum. It was a strange thing to see so I did not watch for long. Everything went smoothly. I was able to use the bathroom right away afterwards and walk out of there no problem. Just some ibuprofen and an ice pack along with my sample return kit.
Recover so far has been good. I have had no serious pain or bleeding. Mainly just discomfort kind of like the feeling after a nut tap not at it’s peak of pain but the lingering sensation after the worst of it. It is a challenge to not pick the kids up for three days and I failed which has not seemed to cause any issue so far. I have been feeling a little bit better everyday. I am currently on day two and have had some discomfort but have not used the ice pack at all today. Note don’t take too long in the shower or you start too feel it in your balls, need to keep them in close as much as possible.
Now the result of this. I am no longer able to have kids. It is a marked point in my life. There is some sadness with the prospect of having no more kids but the flip side is joy. Joy that we can now lock in our lives and build it up with the four of us. Turn our focus from family building to family nurturing. I feel so lucky to have been able to build my dream family. Yes there are some aspects of a bigger family that I would have liked but ultimately it isn’t what we wanted for ourselves.
In the end it feels good to do this for our family and get to focus on the future that we have chosen. Eliminating possibilities to make room for the other things we want out of this life. Making a choice is hard and this choice was no different but I know that this was the right choice for the future that we want for us and our kids.
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