I have been tired. Tired and worn out the last few weeks. It has been all I can do to just do my best to get through the kids night routines while keeping my cool so I can have a little time to recharge afterwards. This still feels like a reasonable statement. I just have a problem conceptually with rushing through anything. To rush through something is the do it while your attention is being drawn towards something else. This is not a surprising thing in fact I would assume this is actually the case for most people while doing most things.
We should probably stop doing that. I stopped rushing today and just let my daughter lead the way a little bit through her night routine. We looked out the windows for awhile. She wanted to take some puzzle pieces down stairs, it was a little more effortful and she was definitely stalling. But it was nice. It was nice to just see what she wanted to do with her little extra pre bed hangout time. It was nice to just soak up some extra hangout time and not be worried about taking the garbage down, or picking up the house. It was nice to just be with her and fully experience putting her down for bed.
After I got her in bed, (which did not take all that much longer than normal mind you) I was laying there thinking about how this had felt. All of the sudden a wave of realizations started to slam into me. Why am I rushing anything. Yeah I want to be an entrepreneur but why am I trying to rush it. I am starting to see the skill stack that I need to acquire so should just focus on learning that and not trying to rush to the end. This process of rushing through things has burned me so many times in the past I don’t know how this all had not become apparent to me yet.
This applies to everything. I think we should all develop the process of not doing things that we neither want or need to do (this will of course include things that don’t neatly fit into one of those categories but you would feel bad if you didn’t do) and once we decide to do it. We should make the most of it. Enjoy learning the new thing even if it is only a means to an end. It is almost a guarantee that this will help you learn more effectively and result in higher enjoyment along the way.
Now that I am seeing the bigger picture of my life going forward and am starting to understand the scope of what I need to learn to achieve my goals. It’s a lot. And it is going to take me awhile to learn and implement it all. So I am going to figure out how to learn it all effectively and how to enjoy the process of learning each new skill. While also creating artifacts for each chunk of knowledge that I can reference in the future when using that skill.
I can feel it in my bones that this process is going to result in a significantly better outcome on top of everything else. I am going to learn each new skill with so much more depth and am going to be on the lookout for the fundamentals that I could really start to hone in on and work to master in each domain. It is ironic in a way that the more enjoyable path with less self pressure to rush and more just curiosity about how this all works with systems of progression built around the curiosity is the right path. Yes the negative need to rush did move me forward but I have felt sloppy, I have felt like I have been bouncing around trying to just mash together the basics and not really take the time to actually learn these skills.
After coming to this realization, I was still laying on the floor next to my daughter. I could just feel the weight melt off of my shoulders. I could feel like five waves of weight just pop off my shoulders and disappear into the floor. I feel as though I know exactly what I need to do next and more importantly how I need to approach it. I am going to enjoy this journey. You only build your first business once and have your kids at this age once and I intend on enjoying every single moment that I can. I am going to make this all happen, it will be slow, but it will also be more effective now. I hope that you dear reader, can set down some of your weight and just accept the fact that life is hard and things take time.
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